Here's the continuation of my review of DanMachi 7
Story: There are some errors like referring to Almiraj (or specifically Al-mi'raj) as Almirage. I don't really understand why they use Business Quarter and Night District but I'll leave it at that. Other than that I don't like how they modified sentences such as Lili mentioning that she did some recon and learned that the news of their debt was spreading, which was turned into buying medicine for Bell. This is the "translation's" main problem. Also, the Divine Knife is supposed to be read as Hestia Knife
"to raise our performance and efficiency on future hunts, we have to get stronger ASAP"
This isn't a mistake (for the most part. Hunts should be explorations) but I just couldn't stop myself from laughing. There's next to no chance that the rest of the Hestia Familia's going to get stronger
Wow, the exotic food called Jyaga Marukun from Sword Oratoria 1 has a new version called Jyaga Maru Kun. I know that they're in the middle of moving into their new home, but saying "all the boxes need to be emptied" doesn't make sense until you take a moment to think about it, why can't they use something like "we need to finish moving in today"? I'm not a big fusser over honorifics, but Bell referring to everyone by name just feels awkward to me, the same applies for Hestia referring to him. Again changes like "she was overly concerned with the cleanliness of the windows" from "she was concerned of the state of the city" just doesn't make sense
Like I mentioned on the Sword Oratoria 1 page, I don't like how the "translation" uses "animal person" when the actual term only refers to beasts. Like I pointed out below, Pleasure Quarter is properly translated as Entertainment District. Leaving out important information, like why Bell hadn't gone to the shopping district (because of money), also doesn't make sense. Moe isn't the same as sexy, moe refers to cute stuff. At least the translator switched back to using captain instead of field general. Is it that hard to say prostitute instead of "ladies of the night"? I'm sure "Ajura" should be "Azura" since the kanji for blue is in the name
Hermes tone is changed in the "translation". In the Japanese version, he's surprised to see Bell at the Yuukaku, but in the "translation", he has more of a casual tone. When will YP learn to use cm instead of celch? Using "her aura" is incorrect as it's referring to all of the Amazonesses there. Using phrases like "chill here" sounds awkward too. Berbera technically can't be the correct term since the Japanese spelling doesn't match the term's spelling. The translation makes it so that Phyrne elongates letters, but Bete has a similar speech style and yet he talks normally, so this really doesn't make sense
The "translation" makes Haruhime into a pervert. In the Japanese version, she faints when she sees Bell's collarbone (Haruhime faints seeing men undressed) but in the "translation" she mentions that it's a "beautiful collarbone"...wait, what? This is a girl that's pure and has no experience with sex, why would she be interested in men's collarbones? Still, I think half naked wouldn't been better to use than mostly naked. As usual, the translation keeps on doing stuff like "semi beetle" when they could just say cicada. The Japanese version only mentions that the Entertain District helps reduce crime, and yet the "translation" claims that this actually meant "bar fights and property damage"...yes, bar fights and property damage are such serious crimes
I question some of these names like Garland (Galahad) and Durandal, especially since Durandal is spelled different in Sword Oratoria as the collective name for indestructible weapons like Ais' Desperate. And as usual, they insert false info like calling the protagonist of "The Wizard Aladdin" a "young mage" when in the Japanese version it simply says mage, and technically the proper spelling of Giorgio (Italian form) in DanMachi is Georgius (since DanMachi uses Latin). Also, the main character of the story Haruhime like, Issun Booshi, isn't exactly young, he just doesn't grow from his small size. In the Japanese version, it's not exactly mentioned if the aphrodisiac contained still had anything in it, and if it did it's still going to be retconned by the newest special story from Sword Oratoria 7 (which I still need to do the summary for)
I don't understand why the name the children call him is "Little Looky" when they call him "Little Rookie" (albeit in hiragana) in the Japanese version. "I turn to leave, but I can feel Chloe's sad eyes boring into me"...um, she's still suffering from Ryuu's attack in the Japanese version so she wouldn't be staring at anything, and the dialogue before that is incorrect as it's Bell that says it and not the waitresses. Only Syr is shown to recognize the brothel scent. I'm sure there's a better term like exploration type to use than "dungeon prowling". Also, it's not mentioned that they earn a great deal of money in the dungeon by day, and instead of "40 percent of their income...", it's "their daily income makes up more than 40 percent of the Entertainment District's overall income". "A group of Amazons" should be "Amazoness combatants", and leader here should be captain since the leader of the Barbelas is Aisha. There is no such thing as a "top class" adventurer or "elites", only first class. Phryne is not "already on a plane that my idol struggled to reach", he just identified Phryne as "an opponent that my idol once almost lost to"
Ishtar wasn't really "forced" to show the Barbelas' statuses, she willingly showed them only to the Guild. The Guild isn't the only party Ishtar took money from, she also took it from the five Familia that accused her, the Guild wasn't "forced to level penalties" at all. The Japanese version only says "battle ability" and not "Their members' strength and speed". They're not ignoring "the truth", it's the "rules", and the truth did did not "weigh heavily on both of them", only on Bell. The Western District wasn't what was lively, it was the West Main Street instead. Arnya wasn't "the first waitress Hermes saw" but rather the person he chose to call Mia. Have I complained about the use of catgirl yet? Hermes didn't take Mia to the kitchen window, he took her to the storeroom. So, how does "I'll kick you away" in the Japanese version turn into "before my fist goes through yer face"? The "translation" is inconsitent with Syr's hair color, earlier they referred to it as gray and not it's appearently silver. Besides, it doesn't mention Syr's hair color here in the Japanese version, only her expression. Hermes doesn't call Syr a "mortal girl" but rather a "city girl". Also, his voice didn't go "noticeably higher", he just let out a scream, and what kind of translation is "HYEHE" when he screams in the Japanese version?
"Thought you'd be too busy..." should be "Guess you weren't just talk" since the shopkeeper is referring to what Hestia said in the past. Hestia laughs with "Fufun" or something similar instead of the "Hee hee hee" that the "translation" uses. "I wonder if she's waiting for her first customer"...uh, she was sold years before the story, she would've already had a lot of customers, in the Japanese version he just wonders if she's working as a prostitute that day too. It doesn't make sense to have Bell say "my best guess is..." when he clearly explains what she's doing in the Japanese version. Takemikazuchi isn't a "God of War specifically of styles of combat", he just trained them in techniques since they were little. Technically it wasn't "the family" that found out that the Takemikazuchi Familia was taking Haruhime outside since her mother was already dead and she's implied to be an only child (it might say this outright but I don't remember). Haruhime's father forgave them with one of Takemikazuchi's dogeza, not "until he forgave them". Also, Lili's "he's quick to apologize, for a God" isn't exactly correct since she's referring to how often the God bows his head in dogeza. Shrine donations weren't increasing, they were busy with work instead, and they didn't find out she'd been disowned "the night before" but rather on the day they went. Taking action wouldn't cause another War Game, she's just against more fighting because of the risk. "Stop to consider..." should be "it would be unwise to make an enemy of them by kidnapping one of their members". Lili doesn't say that the Gods would try to take it from Hestia, just that they'd neglect her
Bell doesn't think "there's no denying that the hero is in the right", otherwise he wouldn't even consider saving Haruhime, and it's not mentioned in the Japanese version. The hero in the story hasn't experienced pain from a prostitute at all and he doesn't kill the prostitute, it only mentions that he falls down the path of destruction by gaining her anger. The "translation" needs to stop putting their own spin on things. "The heroes I've looked up to..." isn't correct since Bell says "most" and "don't save them". "Prostitutes, who have..." also isn't correct as Bell says "don't have the right to get close to a hero" and "stand among heroes" in the next sentence should be "stand next to them" instead. The other prostitutes with Haruhime aren't all wearing red kimonos, just kimonos. No, Haruhime wasn't able to see into Bell's heart because of his pure eyes, she's not Freya. Have I complained about the use of animal person yet? A sentence here is missing for some reason after "There's a great demand...". The feeling of having a powerful backer is described as a queen, but the detail of "a small country" is removed. Prostitutes don't use "this power" to set up establishments, they set them up on their own. "The only reason..." isn't exactly correct as the part here in the Japanese version explains that the reason slavery didn't stop was for the demand of rare races like Renards. The "translation" somehow warps the Pallum guest into a noble. "Every one of the men" should be "a lot of men". Like Syr's hair color, the "translation" is also inconsistent with Chienthrope as they use the term in one sentence and "dog person" in the next. "The courage he was building up" is incorrect, and Haruhime does recall that Bell was surprised but notes that he was only surprised
Haruhime wasn't able to see the War Game not because "there were no Divine Mirrors", but rather she'd been kept inside the Yuukaku during the entire event. While Haruhime lied about knowing Mikoto, Mikoto only looked like she was going to cry and didn't actually cry. "Haruhime passed a..." isn't correct as the Amazoness here is the one who came to inform her of her customer, and she didn't "say anything to the other woman's instructions", the Amazoness simply didn't ask about Mikoto, Haruhime answers quickly while she lets the gloominess overtake her, and it's Haruhime that leaves the Amazoness and not the other way around. Ishtar had Tammuz pull her a seat and she sits down before taking a smoke, not the other way around. "But you'll devour him" isn't entirely correct as they say "in the end". Again, this time they're inconsistent with "Level 3" as they used Level Three. Aisha's "Haruhime is a..." is incorrect as she states that she serves the Familia even as one. Mikoto didn't sound like "she didn't get enough sleep", she just sounded like she felt down. Apparently the "translation" uses "little" as a translation for "-chan", but the suffix isn't used just for children. Wish isn't really a correct translation but I'll leave it at that. Apparently the "translation" thinks that the Elf's glasses are thin rimmed even though it only says glasses in the Japanese version. The "translation" also misspells Haruhime's surname; using jy instead of j is an old way of Romanizing
I'm not really sure on this one, but I swear that YP used actual numbers instead of level-fourteen. Still though, they're inconsistent with their usage anyway a page later when they use "fourteenth floor". The "translation" needs to stop using words instead of numbers during dialogue such as when they have Welf say "Level Three" and then use Level 3 two sentences later, it makes them look inconsistent. A knife actually isn't ineffective against a Liger Fang's fur, it's just means that unsatisfactory or weak blades wouldn't be able to harm it. "She's wearing the same expression..." should be "I'm wearing the same expression..." since Bell is comparing himself to a despairing Hyacinthus during the War Game, and Aisha has no reason to despair at the moment. Phryne's line of dialogue at the end of the battle with Bell and Aisha is removed for some reason. Also, the "translation" adds on what kind of injuries Bell and Mikoto had even though just says "injured and unconscious" in the Japanese version. As for Mikoto's status, the "current worth" part should be something like "money on hand", as adventurers aren't like the pirates in One Piece with bounties, nor do they have ranks based on how much they earn. "Increases gravitational force within a created barrier" should be "a gravity field covering a certain area". In addition to that, they misspelled Zansetsu as "Zensetsu", it should be a smith (singular), and it never mentions that she spent hours trying to find it
Apparently, part of Ishtar's servants includes "stylish older boys" even though the Japanese given is shonen; is this some sort of censorship? The amount of aphrodisiac that Phyrne administers is never specified but the "translation" apparently thinks its an enormous amount. Also, she never mentions that it's a "bit annoying" to take men to her love room. "Even top class adventurers can't snap them" isn't correct as in the Japanese version Phryne mentions that "even a high class adventurer can't break free that easily if you wrap several layers around them", and once again they're inconsistent with the term "top class adventurer". Like I mentioned already, I don't really care if YP ignores suffixes (like -san), but using "Miss Haruhime" here just shows how inconsistent they are once again. During the description of the Freya Familia home, it doesn't describe them as "the most powerful Familia in Orario", but rather "one of the two largest Familia in Orario". "The highest level of the palace" is incorrect and it's not "coated in silver", it's just a building made to resemble the moon so it's known as the "Silver Mansion". The "translation" apparently thinks that what the author meant by "Freya sitting in the middle of the spacious room (or open chamber)" is "sitting at the very back of an open chamber". Her "overwhelming presence" is not filling the room and Helun didn't have to make her way across the whole chamber. She also doesn't tell Helun if Allen and the others are watching them, she's just asking her if she was correct in saying that they were the ones watching them. Also, the girl's name can't be Helen as there's a clear difference in how the katakana is spelled (Herun vs Heren)
"It went without saying..." is incorrect as it says "as expected of the Entertainment District, they had Far East style battle cloths". "The fabric of...it felt cheap and itchy" isn't correct either as Mikoto simply isn't used to wearing it. She never blushes either, she simply changes clothes happily. The "heart rate" here should be "presence", and she's able to conceal both of them perfectly. This isn't a mistake but meders is actually meters in case anyone forgot. Asfi doesn't wear a scarf, she wears a cloak. "It's basically a magic sword that doesn't break" should be something like "it's a magic item on par with a magic sword". "A solid stone could release..." isn't correct since people are able to use it just fine that way, giving shards of it is it's characteristic. "Breaking a stone would..." is missing "Thinking of" at the beginning. "Prostitutes are meant to be destroyed" should be "prostitutes are the emblem of destruction". So once Bell and Mikoto run from Aisha and Haruhime the first time, Bell starts using "Miss" for "-san". Uh, I thought the "translation" wasn't going to translate suffixes for Bell? He's been referring to Mikoto as Mikoto for 2/3 of the story already, it doesn't make sense to start using it now. "Without an aggravating smile" should be "with"
Note: I'm going to skip a number of pages since it's going to take me forever to finish. I'm going to start again from page 207