First Color Page: While it's not wrong, the text should be rephrased as "While the town and sky were cast in a fiery crimson glow, a single shadow emerged on the crystal path as shards of flame poured down upon it"
Chapter Titles: Chapter 3: "Gekai Detective Loki". Really? I hate their use of tenkai/gekai as much as using Kenki. I also disagree with using "average" for chapter 1 but that's not really important
Color Pages: Again, they're still using "field general" for Finn like last volume, and why is Ais a "knight"? She's a swordsman. They're also using "top class" for Tiona when it should be "first class". The second color page is fine
Story: Note: I am skimming since I'm too lazy to do another full on review and I don't really care for this volume so there won't be much here
While I'm not the type of person to make a big deal about honorifics, at least they're using them right from the start this time unlike DanMachi 7 where they start using them around halfway through the volume
The Goddess that Finn respects is spelled as Fianna, not Phiana. I'm sure people know that Babel is the tower by now, there's really no need to refer to it as "Babel Tower" when the Japanese only mentions "Babel". For the hundreth time, celch=cm, so just list it as the latter
As Ascetic pointed out, Bete's alias is translated incorrectly, as while the first kanji does read as kyou, the reading is different. Crazed is 狂 while the kanji used is 凶. The author has listed that Monsterphilia should be written as Monster Feria (see BD). So, the "translation" uses "top class" (first class), but when they refer to anything below it they use "tier"? Keep your translations consistent and use class. They're also inconsistent with "orb" and "crystal orb". The Jewel Fetus didn't surpass the monsters, it's just in a higher class
Status Page: As you've all noticed, YP thinks that Lefiya is suddenly awesome and deserves to level up twice. I believe it'd look nicer if they capitalized the text in the tables but oh well. I still find it illogical to use "fifty-first" rather than 51st, and as usual they still use "current worth". I'm not sure: did YP use "defense" instead of "endurance" before this volume or did they change it? "Dungeon Range" seems a bit iffy to me since that makes her sound like a monster, "floor reached" would probably be better. "Conjure" doesn't really work as a translation for 魔導 (madou) as the latter isn't a verb like the former. There's a slight spelling mistake below, it should be "homes in" instead of "hones in". The wording for the explanation of Elf Ring is a bit iffy as chant would work better than "trigger spell", which makes it sound like something different altogether. "Elven" could be used in place of "elvish", but this doesn't really matter
Now, the explanation for Fairy Cannon isn't correct either. The "translation" translates it as "magic power", however that would only be correct if it said 魔法力 (mahouryoku, which the Japanese version often uses), but in this case the author uses 魔法効果増幅, or "the effect of magic is increased", so it doesn't equal the same thing. Because of the difference, it makes the second bullet point partially incorrect, as only the "strengthens" part is correct. The "only offensive magic" part isn't as Fairy Cannon still works with other magic, however the secondary effect only applies to attack magic. Next, the staff isn't "only for magic users", it's "only for mages", as ordinary magic users like Bell have no need for it. While the "increases magic power" part could work in this situation, it would work better if rephrased as "increases the power of the magic". In the next point the staff is apparently "next to useless" as a physical weapon, but yet in the Japanese version it only says efficiency is low. The third bullet leaves out the exact location of the crystals (the center of the head) and it doesn't react to the user's magic like it claims, it reacts to the user's magic power.
Moving down, it might be thoughtful to point out that the Silver Baretta is made of silver, but I guess that's obvious with the name. Using "physical defensive boost" is just awkward, wasn't there a better way to phrase it? Also, no, it does not bestow "predictive power", it just provides protection to whoever wears it through its anti paralysis effect
Afterword: In the afterword, YP spams the word "gaiden" when they use "on the side" in their Sword Oratoria title. They define it as "side story" in the same spot too, so why couldn't they just use that or "spinoff" instead of a Japanese word that they had to provide a definition for? In addition to that, they still can't do consistency, they spell Haimura's name right on the covert and yet they don't here